From Las Vegas, we made a week-long field trip to Los Angeles, the better to drive some new cars and meet some models for photo shoots. We found a secret place to hide the Incorrigible in Long Beach for a week of dry-camping, and set about exploring the madness that is L.A. 
Okay, maybe it's not that secret. We got permission from one of my press car suppliers to take up space in their lot for a week. ALWAYS ask permission before dry-camping!
“Madness” is the right word, too. This massive megalopolis is made even more massive by the traffic, which you’ve probably heard of but cannot fully comprehend until you’ve experienced it. Being on a six-lane freeway is an intimidating thing: being on a six-lane freeway that’s at a dead stop in both directions because of sheer congestion is downright horrifying. This is the first time I’ve been to a large city where the carpool lane makes a significant difference in the speed of travel; it’s frequently the only one moving. I love cars, but there are far, far too many of them in Los Angeles. The sky is a sickly yellow-brown, and it’s easy to see why California’s so concerned about automotive emissions.
It’s also not hard to see why so many people have crammed themselves into this relatively small area. The weather is gorgeous, the scenery (when not obscured by urban sprawl) is gorgeous, and of course there’s the Pacific Ocean right next door. While not our idea of paradise, it seems like a decent enough place to live. Except for the traffic. And the smog. And the high cost of living.
Lexie and I did some of the usual tourist things. We went over to Hollywood to check out the Walk of Fame, and stepped on some of our favorite luminaries. We cruised past Graumann’s Chinese Theater and spotted the numerous character actors posing for photos–both Spidermen, a Stormtrooper, Gene Simmons, Captain America, Batman, a creepily tall Yoda and a raunchy SpongeBob all made appearances. We went to the movies, because the movie theaters are much cooler in the LA area. (In case you were curious, we saw Where the Wild Things Are, and the matinee was crazy expensive but worth it) We even visited the Frederick’s of Hollywood anchor store, because, well, it’s there. We had amazing shakes and burgers at slick little place in Irvine called Ruby’s Diner.
Having done that, we spent some time at Venice Beach as well. We had a perfectly Gothic day at the beach, thanks to the heavy mist and fog that obscured the sky the entire time we were there, and cut visibility drastically. That was okay, though; the crowds were smaller than usual. I was happy to see that Small World Books is still there. I visited the place almost 20 years ago. Back then it was a crusty little used bookstore; nowadays it’s a decent independent bookshop.
The ocean was riled up, but the breakers were all but invisible in the soft, silvery light and the wow-this-place-is-real kookiness of Venice Beach was muted. This didn’t stop us from seeing real-live surfer dudes, crustypunks and aged hippies milling through the crowd, of course. Also noted were a surprising number of horrifyingly derelict RVs (most dating to the late 1970s and early 1980s, many with missing windows and gaping holes in the fiberglass) that seem to be the dwellings of full-time surfers and beach bums. The approach to Venice Beach was all but lined with them, and there were half a dozen in the public parking lot, awaiting their owners’ return from the surf. If they were out there, we couldn’t see them, but we played on the beach for an hour or two anyway.
The beach is filled with seagulls, pigeons, and birds that look suspiciously like the offspring of seagulls and pigeons. Is that possible?
LA…been there….scary!